“What are YOU going to do about it?” This was the response this week’s guest was met with from his manager after sharing some startling results from a Stonewall workplace survey. This was the catalyst for a plethora of work, initiatives & impact that Deon Pillay (he/him) has become known for.

Deon is the Head of Technology, Enablement & Governance for Legal & General Investment Management. He’s also chair of the firm’s Diversity Network and outside of the work, he is the Co-chair of InterInvest, a network of investment professionals, which drives LGBT+ equality across the investment management industry and the Diversity Projects LGBT strand. It’s these latter roles that have seen Deon recognised with an impressive line-up of accolades & awards. And whilst they’re thoroughly deserved, it’s not about that for Deon. His focus is very much around giving back & being the change he wants, & needed, to see.

Deon grew up in South Africa during Apartheid. He recalls being considered a very kind, hard-working kid with a love of nature. There was a pressure to conform - growing up in an Indian family included a strict upbringing & feeling like you were a child of the community so there was a real fear of causing judgement on your family should you not behave a certain way. Though moments of challenging his father’s strict parenting shaped the person he has become.

Culture, tradition & later workplace fears play major factors in Deon hiding his sexuality for many years causing him a great deal of pain & emotional distress. It was an emotional piece to camera in the workplace around coming out & his own lived experience that brought Deon to the world of inclusion. Fast forward to today, he’s out & proud - and his work continues. “Nobody was there for young Deon that looked like me”, he shares which galvanises his efforts, sacrificing time & effort to do what he does, as well as highlighting the importance of visibility.

Deon is generous with both. “What does it cost to give back?” he states. We talk about his advocacy for equity as well as kindness & humanity, championing & empowering those around us and showing. And he recognises the impact that he’s having which was refreshing to hear and he’s more than happy to share why & how it’s doing so to show others how action can lead to positive change. Awards are nice but it’s when he has young Indian people reaching out that really make it worth it for Deon. He uses these three words to describe himself & his origin story: Curious. Supportive. Empathetic. All of which drives his allyship & determination.

Whilst committed to his efforts around DEI, he’s currently channelling his focus on his career in technology with particular interest in the impact of AI which we chat about. We also explore self care, the value he places on a growth mindset, the importance of calendar hygiene & spring cleaning our networks and the servant leadership he strives for. Oh & I get to meet Deon’s colourful pet parrot, Charlie, who brings him so much joy. There’s so many gems of wisdom in this episode - enjoy!

Please note: Some of the topics we cover during this podcast are sensitive. Please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“I turned 30 this year and it has been the biggest block for me in terms of the next part of my life. I gave myself until my 30th. I was like, do what you want to do and then, by 30, I think it'll be time. And I fully expected, one way or another, to step off my life at 30. And I'm here still.”

Those were heart-wrenching words to hear during my conversion with Ben Pechey (they/them), my wonderful guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ But they’re actually packed with hope for the future, relief that they’re ok following a recent serious health scare & appreciation for their own hard work & legacy. A happy childhood up until around aged 4 turned into a relentless & prolonged experience of bullying until his late teens - something Ben has accepted but has left deep, emotional trauma. It was only at university studying fashion marketing where they found a sense of belonging. As well as their passion, determination & community.

Despite having zero plans moving forward, Ben feels privileged to still be here and committed to seeing how things go. I know I’m not not the only one who is grateful they’re still here…

Ben is an exceptional human who brings warmth, colour & authenticity to everything they do. They’re the author of two beautiful books - The Book of Non-Binary Joy and Your Gender Book - which provide education, guidance, support & love to non-binary, trans+ & gender non-conforming individuals & are written with such heart in Ben’s unique & nurturing manner & voice. I love Ben’s bitesize Queer History Lessons on social media - they’re edutainment at its best for informing us about LGBTQ+ history and their TedX talk on trans+ & non-binary joy is STUNNING. You should go watch it immediately.

As a writer, public speaker & content creator, Ben holds the audience close. And doesn’t let go. They use these to describe

This episode is hard to listen to in places as we cover a lot of sensitive & triggering topics, as mentioned, including bullying, mental health & feeling like there is no way out. Please take care of yourself whilst listening & take a break if needed.

As much as there we navigate trauma, there’s also a lot of joy - and Ben’s work really emphasises the need to tap into that. We chat gender expression, fashion & event hosting, including Ben’s gorgeous exchange with Davina McCall on stage. Plus Section 28, Sesame Street & other cultural references, such as our mutual love of Scandal & Olivia Pope, and being the Lorraine Kelly of the trans+ community!

“It’s not been an easy journey but it’s a journey I’d do again in a heartbeat. I know why I’m here & I don’t think there’s a lot of people that can say ‘I know why I’m on the planet right now’. I do. And what a blessing to know that.”

This statement gave me chills during my chat with this week’s guest, Cynthia Fortlage, for ‘Pause. And Rewind…’. Cynthia (she/her) is referring to her mission to teach 1 billion people about acceptance by the year 2050 - which she describes herself as an “audacious goal”. And you’ll hear in the episode, she’s got the determination, passion & drive to see it through!

Cynthia is Belfast-born, Canadian-raised and living in London right now. She’s a globally recognised gender diversity educator & consultant with a 30+ year background in tech. As a white lesbian woman with a trans+ history, Cynthia shares how she was a feminist activist before becoming an LGBTQ+ leader. She uses her C-suite leadership & personal lived experience, along with a love of storytelling, authenticity & creative approach to do what she does best - promoting the crucial notion of acceptance without understanding. She’s not afraid to be tongue in cheek or uncomfortable either and discussing how she operates in a corporate setting, she says ‘I’m the girl you can ask anything’. The most common questions relate to her relationship with her, now grown-up, children - which we also discuss. Having worked with over 500 organisations worldwide, her inspiring track record when it comes to her work & impact speaks for itself.

Her gender journey has been the most straightforward one she’s been on whilst the rest, Cynthia describes as ‘squiggly’. Cynthia is an open book during this conversation. We discuss her early life - from gender exploration, realisation & origins of her name to simply having ‘no idea how to be a man’ - and subsequently how this led to years of mimicking & masking, personally & professionally. She shares how for over 40+ years, she thought she was a cross dresser until she discovered the trans+ community. Cynthia describes the first 28 years of her marriage as magical until she came out & could no longer be the person those around her wanted her to be. We dive into the grief, loss & freedom that came from that when suddenly she found herself living along aged 50 - including being able to share & accept love from those around her.

On top of all this, Cynthia is writing 4 books too, all part of that huge goal & plans for the future. She’s looking for a publisher too! “I’m aspiring to be someone that I’m still not yet. And that’s the journey called life”. This conversation was incredible. We do discuss challenging topics including suicide & mental health so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

Want to get in touch with Cynthia & work with her? Contact her via LinkedIn or visit: https://www.cynthiafortlage.com